The reason I started the blog was to document what goes on in our crazy life and give my perspective of it all. My family is known to tell stories of us growing up and it's funny how we all have a different spin on the same event or issue. This post is a little background of myself. I feel like I need to put it in writing so when stories come up later, I know that I put all the relevant background information out there.
Also, I have to preface all of what I’m about to say with I don’t believe in blaming your parents for the way you turn out. You will not be able to find happiness or success in your own life by pointing blame at others. You have to look at yourself and make YOUR OWN decisions. Now, parents can influence you, but I truly believe YOU have the power to make YOUR own decisions.
I have come to believe this even more with teaching low economic kids, where I preached to them about making their own decisions and trying to be and do better than their parents. I saw the power that they held inside of them, but so many times they were scared to be different from what was around them. Even if being different, was a GOOD different.
Then as a parent, I'm starting to understand that sometimes you don’t make the best decisions when raising your kids, but you do the best you can. I look back at my own parents with admiration and understanding now. They were not bad parents; they may have had some moments where they didn't make the best decisions, but all in all they were wonderful and I was and am very blessed.
Now, with that being said….
I get my competitive nature from my parents. It was that competitive nature that has always driven me to be the best and do my best at everything. Growing up “it” was always called the “Gallander” in us, but believe me my mom was just as bad as my dad. My dad was a track star growing up in a small town in east Texas. The high school even built a track from him, because he had taken them to state so many time. No, it’s not named after him or anything; but that is the story if you ask the Gallanders. He had natural talent that could have taken him to the Olympics, but unfortunately/ fortunately he broke his back. The doctors thought he wouldn’t walk again, but he did. He may still have some back problems to this day; but he has also worked on oil rigs, a very labor intensive job for most of his life. So, I can see why Mom always pointed to Dad as the culprit for our competitive nature, but she had it just as bad.
My mom is a perfectionist. If you are going to do something, you have to do it RIGHT! I spent hours up late at night fixing projects because they were not up to Mom’s standards. Mom also went to college on a tennis scholarship. I’m not a big tennis player, but when you watch tennis players there is a great determination look on their faces. It can be almost scary- that was my mom, especially on the tennis court. When we were younger, Mom and Dad used to take us to the park to play and they would play tennis. There were a few times where we would be bored ready to go and our parents would still be slamming it out on the court. Mom couldn’t help winning and Dad, couldn’t stand losing. We lost many tennis rackets to Dad’s temper. I know it wasn’t all his temper, because you would catch Mom’s sly little smirk glowing from her win. Looking back I can’t help but laugh. If you met my parents you would not be able to picture their grudge matches on the tennis court.
I am grateful for my parents’ competitive nature. I took it to heart and I guess I’m still using it. I strive to be the best even at the little things I do or whatever I take pride and ownership in- my kids, the Aggies. I fuss and yell at the TV when the Aggies aren’t doing well and I KNOW they can do better. I’m the crazy parent when our boys have played sports or even when they just play around the house. When they get hurt it’s “if you’re not bleeding I don’t need to know about it” or “dry it up”. Last year Caleb played soccer and I noticed during one of the games that the other team was a little more aggressive and Caleb seemed to be just letting them take the ball. Without thinking I yelled “If they push you, push them back! Don’t let them Have the ball.” John looked at me and said you can’t say that. I just knew Caleb had to be told when it was okay to push on someone that is not his brother. John was the calm parent and walked over to Caleb and explained it without yelling across the field. After that Caleb didn’t have any problems in any of his games. I still have to tell him every once in a while that it is okay to stand up for himself and not let others push him around. He will probably be the one I get called to school for fighting, when he had enough of someone picking on him.
Now, the man I married understands all of my craziness and takes it all in strides. He is just as bad also! He yells at the TV more than I do when his OSU team is playing football or basketball. When we were dating I had flash backs to my mom and dad’s tennis matches when we would play any game. He has also stayed up all night with a Monopoly game against my brothers. He also can’t LET his boys win any game. He tells me “They have to learn to win.” How can they “learn” to win Tic-Tac-Toe if they never get three in a row before you do?! He may be the calmer parent in public, but he he is just as into it as I am. I’m just the loud one.
I just wonder what the boys will take from John and I. Will they continue the competitive nature? So, far it's not looking good. Noah will pace, jump up and down, and yell right along with me when watching the Aggies. All of them have had bruises and scraps from backyard tackle football and they will even tell each other, "If you are going to play tackle then you can't cry!" Oh, poor Makaela! She is walking now and of course she wants in on all the action. I have a feeling I will be asked to let her play on the boys soccer team when she gets old enough because she is too rough for the little girls! Hopefully despite myself, they will turn out well balance sports stars!
