Lesson in Acceptance

Yesterday was our weekly adventure to the grocery stores and I started writing this as I vegged in front of the computer thinking.  With all my distractions it usually takes me a few days to actually start and post a blog.  Going back to yesterday…

It never fails; good or bad all I want to do when I get home after shopping is veg.  I’m mentally and physically tired after the stores, putting all the food away and making lunch.  When I do anything with all the kids I try to be organized about it and have it all planned out where we leave early get through with whatever needs to be done and are back home by lunch and nap time.  Wednesday was a marathon shopping day.  I wanted/ needed to go to a few different stores- for school supplies and groceries.  Since we have moved and are further away from all the stores I’ve tried to cut down on how many times I go to “town”.  I know it sounds crazy taking all 5 to a store and a one way trip to insane asylum taking them to multiple stores; but it has to be done.  I’ve looked at other options, but I feel like this is the best way to maximize time and energy.  Yet, when I have a bad day with the kids I really start to wonder if I’m not seriously crazy!    



One of the not so sweet pictures that usually no one ever sees

I try to accept that they are not going to be perfect and that’s okay.  I still have my standards but it will be okay if they have a few issues.  There were only a few episodes of someone hurting/picking on someone else, Makaela only was fussy a little, and I was only a little annoyed in general.  Yes, the indicator on whether we have a good or bad trip- did mommy get annoyed?  To everyone else in the store my kids could look like they are doing everything right, but it all depends on what I think.  Things that annoy me- playing airplane/ action hero or anything else in the aisle where others are being blocked; jumping to the different color tiles, touching the shelves and/or items on shelves; hanging on the buggy; being loud and whining if a request is not fulfilled.  Oh and of course this is at the top of the list- bothering your siblings where they cry or whine.  I know it’s amazing that my kids are allowed to breathe, but I guess I just don’t want them being the kids that run crazy in the stores or that people think “that poor lady shouldn’t have had so many”.  I know I’m getting lots of looks and a lot of times we even get comments, so I’m very aware of what others might think.  What they think doesn’t bother me too much; but I do want to seem capable of having so many kids.

I never really planned on having a lot of kids, never really thought I could handle it.  Sometimes I wonder if I can handle the ones I have. I've tried to just accept however many God blesses me with.  I guess when it all comes down to it; this is how I was raised.  There were seven of us (the last 2 in my family were born after I went off to college) and we all went to the store with my mom.  Thinking back and doing some math, my mom did the same thing.  When she had 5 like I have, the ages would have been about 8, 6, 4, 2, and new baby.  So if she could do it, then why not me.  I do have to admit that my mom has more patience than I do and was a lot smarter with her spacing of the ages.  J  Yet, it is from her that I know that it can be done and feels like it’s just a normal thing to do as a mom.  Not to mention that both my parents came from large families so, the craziness is inherited! 



Mom and Makaela

The last time we were all in the same place!

 

The Gallanders 2010- Grand kids, Great grand kids (not even all of them!)

I don’t think I would be this brave/crazy to have a big family if it wasn’t for the lessons I learned growing up.  Also it helps that John and I are a team and have the same ideas about how we discipline and bribery.  We both agree on how we want our kids to act and so we both make sure that they act accordingly. No matter how many we have our standards are set and we try to make sure our kids know those standards and want to work to meet them.  We both have accepted that we probably have a better trained dog than we do kids sometimes, but we wouldn’t trade them for the world!  I know for years growing up I always hated having so many siblings because I felt like they were always keeping me from getting what I wanted.  Mom would just ask “who would you like to give up?”, “which sibling would you like me to have stopped at?”  The sibling I was usually upset at was closer to the beginning of the line and so I wouldn’t have wanted her to stop there because the “sweeter” siblings would never have been.  Even though I would have never admitted it I wouldn’t want to truly do without the sibling I was upset with either.  And so, I would just have to accept the fact that I had a lot of siblings and there were some things that I couldn’t have or do but it wasn’t worth giving them up.  Now I guess I just ask myself the same things about my kids.  And I couldn’t think of my life without any of them.  They are my crazy blessings and the good times always outnumber the bad.  God blessed me with them and tries to teach me through them.  Wednesday’s lesson was acceptance of their little annoyances and acceptance that my kids are pretty well behaved.  I'm still learning!